Infuse

The Write Way — Linguistic Parenting

Default Image

by Carrie De Simas Article Categories: ,

|

Last week my father came for a visit, during which my six-year-old was trying to pack his backpack for an outing and getting increasingly frustrated. Turns out that every car he owned would not fit into the blue Puma bag no matter how hard he yanked on the zipper. He muttered in frustration and my father’s head turned. My father looked at me with a quizzical look, so I asked my son what he had just said.“I said ‘damn bag’,” he explained. “Why?” I asked him.“Because the zipper won’t close and now I have to take some of the toys out to make it work.” “Oh. Okay.” And I went back to getting myself ready to go. My father’s facial expression seemed to ask for an explanation, so I provided one: He used the word in the correct way so it’s all good.” My six-year-old is highly perceptive and had noted the unspoken conversation happening between my father and […]

Are You a Queen or a Pawn?

img_7853

by Karyn ConnorArticle Categories: ,

|

Recently, a young woman joined a professional group to which I belong. Soon after joining, she started to ask questions and offer interpretations of other members—otherwise known as gossip.At first, people didn’t seem to notice, but the more questions she asked, and the more information about people she repeated (sometimes with her own spin on it), the more the other members’ began to shy away from her.For me, I stayed away from her as soon as I saw the gossip game in action. I subscribe to Socrates’s method of handling these social situations. Any time someone approaches me either with prying questions, or gossip to share, I pose to them Socrates’ three questions:Is it true? This means to ask if the information has been validated. So if someone is repeating speculation, then you cannot certify that the details are accurate, thus the answer to the question is “no”.Is it kind? […]

There are three kinds of intelligence. And three kinds of evil. Here they are.

kittijaroon

by Cat MachtArticle Categories: ,

|

There are three kinds of acknowledged intelligence:Intelligence quotient (the factual knowledge a person possesses);Social intelligence (the ability to read others and present oneself in a socially appropriate way); andAnd emotional intelligence (the ability to be self-aware and also aware of others’ emotional reactions).I put forward that there are also three kinds of evil:Factual evil. Using factual untruths (i.e., lies) that reduce a person’s self-worth or ability for personal growth.Social evil. Intentionally making people vulnerable to harm.Emotional evil. Robbing people of opportunities for emotional stability, security or growth.Evil is an aggressive attempt to harm another. That’s my definition. What does this mean? If someone gives me a paper cut, is that evil? No. (Unless it’s like the movie Swimming with Sharks where it was done as a type of torture.) It has to have a long-reaching or permanent negative effect on the targeted person.When someone is a mass murder, it is […]

5 Reasons Why You Need to Cut Toxic People Out of Your Life Right Now

ID-10054787

by Karyn ConnorArticle Categories: ,

|

5 Reasons Why You Need to Cut Toxic People Out of Your Life Right NowThey sap your energy. Depressed and angry people generally live in a state of exhaustion and tend to die younger. This is because toxic people don’t tend to have good sleeping or eating habits. They tend to look for quick fixes to feel better which leads them to engage in high-risk behaviors like smoking, drugs, excessive alcohol, splurge shopping, or reckless risk-taking.Toxic people will destroy your other relationships. They take up your time and thoughts. As you struggle to come to terms with whatever they have done or said, you will likely seek the opinions of others, or vent to others. Which is fine if it’s an occasional thing. But toxic people aren’t just having a bad day; they are just bad and often determined to stay that way. As you vent to other people on an […]

What Stops Women From Being Successful?

Stuart Miles

by Cat MachtArticle Categories: ,

|

Recently, I watched a video that had gone viral on Facebook. A number of my contacts had shared it and posted their own versions of lol. After I watched it, I wanted to unfriend a number of those women for perpetuating the subliminal message of women as weak—a message they likely didn’t even comprehend.The video in question starts with a very pregnant woman walking onto a busy bus. No seats available. She smiles at the people, who ignore her. She pushes her belly into someone’s face. He ignores her. Then she pulls out an inflatable mallet and bludgeons him until she gets the seat.When I first saw this, I knew the intent was that I should laugh. And I wanted to. Having been a pregnant woman on transit, it’s a far too common sight.But I didn’t laugh. I was offended. Not because of the selfishness of the other passengers but […]

Five Reasons Why I Love Smokers

patrisyu

by James Sorenson Article Categories: ,

|

I am not a smoker. Never have been. I tried a cigar once in university during a fancy dinner out at a posh cigar bar and almost hacked up a lung. The cloud in the air, the taste in my mouth, the way the smoke clung to my hair and clothes for the rest of the night…well, that did more to turn me off smoking than any nasty picture on a cigarette box.But other than the obvious reasons of health and environment destroyer, smokers are great. I love them.If you’re a smoker, here are the top five reasons why I love you:I know right away you are weak. Strong people look at problems and try to find solutions. People who can’t handle the stress of individual moments turn to an external source or substance for reassurance or relief. Those who smoke to calm their nerves are people who basically can’t […]

Move Past Survival

sattva

by Karyn ConnorArticle Categories: ,

|

In times of long gone (for most of us) survival was a daily struggle. We had to hunt food, avoid danger, protect or rediscover shelter, and avoid any threat the elements presented us.Today, most of us in the western world don’t have to face such struggles. We have shelter, food and all our basic needs covered. This is thanks to an elaborate set of social systems set in place to ensure all its citizens have access to the basic needs. This, in theory, should allow us time and energy for other pursuits such as intellectual development, artistic expression or family nurturance.Yet, with the worst of the threats eliminated, we seem to set out to recreate those threats and keep the fight for survival alive.That’s nonsense, you say?Really?I know a woman who earns an excellent income. She could have had her small bungalow paid off years ago, and her child’s university […]

Liar! Inauthenticity Leads to Loneliness

iosphere

by Carrie De SimasArticle Categories: ,

|

A friend once told me that she was happy with her body because it was curvy. At the time, I admired her. She was a bit heavy, but had beautiful curves. Not trendy, perhaps, but very sexy.Unfortunately, a few months later she asked me to teach her how to knit because she wanted to keep her hands busy in the evenings. She laughed and said: “Because if my hands are busy, I can’t be snacking!” and she smacked her curvy bum. It turned out that her happy with her body thing was a ruse that she told other people, as she tried to lose weight. As her lies unraveled, her friends disappeared.Another example is of a single mother who is determined to portray her ex-husband as a total douche (her word, not mine). He left her and her drama when their child was two years old. She promised him she […]

When Life Gives You Lemons, Make…Yourself Beautiful

SOMMAI

by Carrie De SimasArticle Categories: ,

|

Lemons are one of those fruits that don’t have the same glamorous images as strawberries (dipped in chocolate are a common symbol of love, romance and eroticism), or apples (with all its religious undertones), or grapes (feeding them to the historically powerful), and so on.Lemons? The most common adage is “You look like you just sucked on a lemon” which is never meant as a compliment. But this fruit is stoic and steady. It is powerful and those of us smart enough to have researched natural health and beauty tricks know the quiet power of this yellow fruit.Here are the three reasons why you should learn to love lemons:Detox and physical health. A cup of warm water with half a lemon squeezed into it first thing in the morning (before coffee, snacks or anything else) has amazing health benefits. For this simple tweak to your daily routine you can expect […]

What makes you evil?

villain

by William TannerArticle Categories: ,

|

In today’s chaotic world, there is a lot of emphasis being put on the battle between good and evil. Gone are the primary colored superheroes of the 1980s where Superman gallantly defended the world from evil, and where there were no questions about who was good and who was bad.  In today’s world, it is often harder to tell the good guys from the bad guys. In fiction, it can be even harder to write characters who transcend the two-dimensional limitations of good-guy hero and bad-guy villain. Good guys win and play by the rules. Bad guys do bad things for bad reasons. Right? Not so much. Not in today’s world where heroes often are forced to do bad things for good reasons, making the collection of heroic deeds murkier. For example: you see someone shoot a woman holding her newborn baby in her arms. Killing a mother holding a […]