How I Killed Darth Vader and Lived to Write About It

Article Categories: , .
photo

© Rudy Dees

Rudy Dees

Writer @ GoneWithTheWord

It happened last Tuesday. By mistake. Before my eyes flashed all the Star Wars movies where Jedis tried and failed to kill him. And yet here we were…Him dead and me standing over him, bereft.

Star Wars Episode 7 – The Force Awakens will be in theaters worldwide at the end of 2015. The creators released a trailer displaying the mask of the Sith Lord–Darth Vader–leaving the fans of this franchise wondering–is Darth Vader alive? 

In Star Wars Episode 3 – The Revenge of the Sith Obi Wan Kenobi assumed Vader would die from his injuries sustained on the volcanic planet Mustafar. Even to the Emperor’s or Lord Sidious’s surprise: “There he is. He’s still alive. Get a medical capsule, immediately.” Despite losing his legs and being nearly completely burnt, Darth Vader survived. And a good thing too. As Lord Vader is the main protagonist and eventual hero of the story. 

Back on planet Earth I own a 8 GB USB Darth Vader storage drive to hold documents, spreadsheets, photographs, etc. On that fateful Tuesday morning, I put my sweater into the washing machine without checking my pockets (I always check the pockets). When the washer cycle ended I opened the front loader door and Vader fell to the floor. I killed Darth Vader!  

Boy was I mad. 

I know he has killed planets and entire civilizations, but destroying all my work and files? Unacceptable. I was mad. I was so mad I ordered a replacement USB storage drive online. 

I took the dead Vader USB storage drive to work the next day and inserted it into the computer’s USB port. Nothing. The red light did not illuminate. Having survived Jedis, lava and  countless enemies, in the end it was my washing machine that had killed him.  

Lord Vader was dead.  

Just as I was about to bury him deep in the shredding bin…Beep. The computer alerted me that a device had been detected.  

No.  

I opened the files…and there he was–Darth Vader was alive! I clicked on the files to see if they would work. And they did! Not only was he alive… he was working; his red lightsaber (I mean light) came to life. 

Over the course of his life, Darth Vader had his legs cut off, was burned alive by the lava, and even spent forty-five minutes in the washer and survived. He learned and grew as a character. In the end, he survived and saved the galaxy, and saved my work. 

Does Darth Vader make an appearance in Star Wars Episode 7 – The Force Awakens? After his miraculous washing machine venture, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>