Advice to Donald Trump on How to Win the Minority Vote

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Cat Macht

Qoz Publishing Guest Writer

It’s no secret that Donald Trump is not pro-minorities. He has been called a bigot and a racist and seems to take no real offence to either title. Most recently, he has been compared to Hitler.

This is taking it too far. For all the atrocities that Hitler committed, the man was brilliant. An entire country handed him the power over their welfare, went along with a violent and mad extermination plan, and they loved him. He was a brilliant orator and manipulator.

Can we say these things of Donald Trump? Not in any broadcast I have seen.

But enough about that. I have a way to fix all Mr. Trump’s election dysfunctions: Ditch the current Mrs. Trump (there is one, right?) and replace her with a minority. Wait a moment though—not just any minority. He needs one who will dry hump the spotlight with great enthusiasm and not worry about values, morals, or respect.

With that criteria in place, who better than Kim Kardashian? I know there are a few minor roadblocks in place: her current marriage and two children. But she has already proven that she knows how to get out of a marriage quickly. Plus, Kanye hasn’t lived up to his end of the bargain: he is allegedly broke, quickly being viewed as an angry egoist who touts himself as a creative genius, plus he is just a general downer with his endless rants and attacks on other artists.

Kim Kardashian would be a great match for Donald Trump. She would help secure him the minority vote. She is an Indian with two interracial children (who conveniently also cover off the black vote.) She is shameless in her attempts to appear in the media despite no talent or real offerings other than her broadening assets. Can anyone explain why she is famous?  She is like a Twinkie: all fluff and no substance, and too much will make you sick. (If you want the steps to her “fame”, check it out here.) Plus, if she married Donald Trump and he won, she could officially be called “First Lady” which is likely the only time that she will ever be called “lady” without a jeer attached.

Further to that, her former stepfather Bruce Jenner, now Caitlyn Jenner, could help secure the gay-lesbian-transgendered vote. All for the cost of a shady lawyer  to get her out of a marriage. (She must know at least one…after all, her father was the lawyer who helped get OJ Simpson off despite OJ bragging about it.) Throw in a talented photographer to Photoshop her image to make her look like she isn’t wearing ten pounds of makeup and add her onto the voting posters—preferably clothed, please—and you have the most sensational political campaign possible.

If all else fails at the voting poll, Donald Trump could resort to promises of naked pictures of her if he wins…and hope that no one knows that these aren’t hard to find already.

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